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In Queens: An Exotic Melting Pot, and a Closed Book

More white liberal bullshit non-news from the New York Times. It's basically about one white dude's foray among the inscrutable, colorful natives.

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it's my god-given right as a white american to have access to EVERYTHING!!!!!!

If I were living in the neighborhood, I wouldn't talk to him, either.
I spent 10 years going to school in the neighborhood, and I wouldn't talk to him, either.

Queens born and bred here...

I bet this clown doesn't let all all his pseudoromantic bullshit get in the want of wanting the next power plant on my side of the East river instead of his.

"...a girl named Manhatten." Bite me.

The part I really love about this article -- which one may only know if one' s been in these neighborhoods -- is that there's no shortage of places in any of them in which whites are as welcome as anyone else. But noooooo, none of that even made his screens, he had to go to the blank-walled places, the ones with the "stay yonder" look to them.

Funny how he never thought to go into the private clubs of white folks -- you know, the Serbian clubs; Greek clubs, etc? Especially given that the Greek clubs have been here longer than I have.

Re: Queens born and bred here...

I was thinking the same exact thing about your point re: white spaces. Woodside, right next to Jackson Heights, is Irish and Italian, tons of pubs etc. But he doesn't care about that because that doesn't fit into his notion of the ethnographic other.

And yeah, what about Astoria?

Re: Queens born and bred here...

Oh, here in Astoria where I live this guy would have stepped into one of the Greek Mafia hangouts private Greek clubs, tried to intimidate the Greek mafia enforcer dude at the door and wound up trunked and dumped in Jersey somewhere with a seminar and practicum on how race and sex privilege play out when different immigrant communities interact with dumb-assed Manhattenites whose idea of "exotic" is a couple stops on the E-train.

Re: Queens born and bred here...

That's what I thought. Notice how freaked out he was by the Irish bar.
I also don't see him banging does the door in clubs in Jamaica or Cambria Heights, or Brownsville, or East Flatbush or even Bensonhurst for that matter. Not "exotic" enough I guess. Or so exotic he knows he'd get a beatdown.
Very, interesting that he chooses communities where he can wield his white privilege at will.

Re: Queens born and bred here...

There's a part of the medula oblongatta that reminds him his privilege is all that stands between him and attaining room temperature.

Re: Queens born and bred here...

Dude, totally what I was thinking about the exotic thing. I mean, how fucking offensive is it for you to 1) call developing countries unilaterally exotic (i'm betting that he wasn't living on $1 a day) and 2) say that the next best thing is Queens because there's a lot of brown people there? what the fucking fuck?

Re: Queens born and bred here...

Funny how he never thought to go into the private clubs of white folks

Those wouldnt give him the exotic experiences of developing nations he was used to. Is anyone else as terrified as I am of what he did to people in those other countries?

Re: Queens born and bred here...

It's disturbing and is a scary black box sitting in the middle of the story. He mentions his experiences in other countries but never goes into detail.

Re: Queens born and bred here...

Yeah... about that... let's just say I'm sure they miss him less than he misses them. Maybe one of those folks taught him a nickname he thinks means "Great White Honorary World Citizen" but really means "Dingo turd" or "I love goats in an impure fashion."

Re: Queens born and bred here...

*snort* Having been known as the "white woman dog owner" (an accurate description which reflected people's puzzlement that I was walking around with a dog a lot of the time), I hope they came up with something nicely creative for him, which he would never ever sense as an insult. The way old Arab ladies will say "God bless them" when they really hate someone, and mean "I hope they die in a fire."

Re: Queens born and bred here...

Is anyone else as terrified as I am of what he did to people in those other countries?

yes. I cringed as soon as I read that.
Over the next 18 months, I learned a humbling lesson. The underworlds of Queens are so authentic that they are impossible to discover, at least for a white American like me.

I suspect that has less to do with your skin color than with your entitlement attitude, muffin.
I can guarantee it -- somehow my white skin doesn't score my half the shit he got. Maybe it's got to do with me never standing on the street and trying to take pictures of random strangers. Just a thought.
But who would not want to be scenery in the one-man show that is *checks byline* Adam B. Ellick's life?!?
seriously.

come here, kiddo, boas and malinowski have something for you...

I got as far as I moved to Jackson Heights in late 2006 precisely to discover these discreet ethnic underworlds. Previously, I lived for six years in developing nations, and upon my return to the States, I sorely missed those exotic environments. and BUHLEET.

Re: come here, kiddo, boas and malinowski have something for you...

Jackson Heights totally = developing nation lite, of course

Re: Queens born and bred here...

I know. I don't think brothel would have entered my mind unless there I saw naked/half-naked people walking around.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

i looked.

The underworlds of Queens are so authentic that they are impossible to discover, at least for a white American like me.

You mean, a white American with your entitlement issues and lack of social skills?

Edited at 2009-01-04 07:57 pm (UTC)

< / sarcasm >

As I biked along the Flushing waterfront one bright day, I came to an outdoor Guyanese wedding. Women in saris unknowingly clogged the public bike path. They blatantly ignored me, forcing me to awkwardly walk my bike through the dense crowd.

Gasp! How dare they!

Re: < / sarcasm >

LOL. And he didn't think to just politely say, "Excuse me" or better yet choose a new path?

Re: < / sarcasm >

okay, i couldn't read the article because I'm too lazy to make an NYT account (if they're even free), but that has to be the best part. this fucker biked through a wedding and was miffed that they just ignored him? he should be thanking god that they didn't kick his ass, which is what i would have done.
I have been desperately hoping that this is satire, but I've finally accepted that it isn't. Now I have no recourse but to hunt this guy down and beat the exoticism out of him.
Oh, the mental image I got from this was glorious. Do it please! I will sell tickets!
Man, his descriptions are so creepy. It almost sounds like he's getting off on being the creepy White guy in "exotic" POC spaces.
O hai, guy who always posts ads searching for tender azn beauties on Craigslist.
...someone punch this man in the nads.
my black friends

January 2009

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